I still remember about how some or most of my childhood days were made miserable. When I was a kid, I ve had sleepless nights, panicking out of fear, fear of facing the teacher the next day, for simple reasons like having lost a classwork notebook. The feeling was far worse than one of the horrifying road accidents i met with several years later. I am not exaggerating. Such feelings have lasted for a day, for a week, for months and for years too. Later when i grew up, i came to know that the term to name it was ‘childhood trauma’.

There were certain things i was completely rebellious about: ‘How can parents fight in front of children?’, ‘How can anyone use abusive language in my presence?’, ‘how do you expect me to react when i am constantly bombarded with negative comments?’, ‘where will go vent all my frustrations when i can never satisfy anyone with anything i do?’, ’ how should i react when i get beaten up for doing something i love doing, like playing football?’ I also remember being told, “you will realise when you grow up that all these were for your own good” I have grown up enough to have a kid on my own, I still stand by what i felt and thought.Two days back, i saw Neeyaa Naanaa on Vijay Tv. The topic was “Children Vs Parents/Teachers” It was a show that made me relive my 14 years of school life. I could relate to every single word spoken by each and every child who participated in the show. I heard them come up with the same list of questions i just mentioned. 

My blood didn’t fail to boil listening to some of the parents and teachers who were shamelessly smiling and pretending when they were questioned black and white about why would they mistreat children. I liked some of the points put forth by Gobinath: “We understand that you love your kids a lot and you want them to achieve the way you wanted to, but, it is important for indian parents and teachers to realise that children have a life on their own and it is not fair to have such expectations.” Sriram:” It is alright for children to fail sometimes, for it is this fear of failure, the reason for a lot of anxiety. Give children the opportunity to be a part of decision making at schools and at home, give them their chance to voice their opinions”

I personally think the missing factor is that ‘extra effort’ - the smart thought to make life simple for you and your child.. there can be no generalized one time solution. As we grow up, we start looking for happiness from nowhere but, if we realise that the actual happiness lies in doing these simple things like, for e.g. you and your wife are into some serious quarrel, you are trying to fight inside the room so that your kid doesn’t hear you both fight. Suddenly, the kid enters the room! you guys don’t know what to do.. and imagine what if you both have the heart to act up a drama to make it look like you guys were trying to act out a scene from some movie? Its silly! but, it makes a lot of difference in the lives of your children.

Written by- Hema (NalandaWay Staff)